America’s Dirty Little Secret No More: Sex Addiction Goes Mainstream

When Tiger Woods first found himself in the media spotlight in 1996, he was America’s golden boy: prodigal golfer, Stanford-educated, and a welcome splash of color to the world of professional golf. Nearly 13 years later, the public was shocked to hear of his numerous extramarital affairs and lewd phone messages (with a porn star, no less). Did this make Tiger Woods a sex addict, if such a thing exists, or a wealthy athlete who indulged too much—and got caught?

Almost suddenly, America got a crash course in sexual addiction. But sex addiction has been part of the public consciousness for years—and the media illustrates the addiction at an increasing frequency. 

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As humans, we love to love, and we love to be loved. It’s our evolutionary duty to conceive offspring, so we breed now, and breed often. Acting on our primal urges makes sex exciting—and can make for out-of-breath, out-of-body, can’t-believe-this-is-happening sex. Simply put, sex is healthy and normal.

But how exactly does a person become a sex addict, and how is that even treatable? People can abstain from drugs, but a married man or woman can’t be expected to give up sex forever. And why now, in 2011, do people claim to be sex addicts, when just 20 years ago they would be labeled libertines whose lifestyles caught up with them?

What makes sex addiction an addiction is the cyclical pattern of thinking and behavior that persists in spite of harmful consequences for the addict, and in some cases, other people. A sex addict uses sex as a coping mechanism for life’s stresses. Like other addictions, there’s a repetitive pattern of behavior, a feeling of euphoria from engaging in such behavior, a routine way of planning and acting out the behavior, followed by a period of withdrawal and repeated cravings.

There are many different types of sexual behaviors that a person can get addicted to, ranging from the benign to criminal. These include pornography, extramarital affairs, prostitution, risky sex, and more. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders currently does not acknowledge sex addiction. Still, treatment does exist. Most notably, therapy in combination with 12-step support groups (Sex Addicts Anonymous).

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Plenty of regular people are sex addicts, but it’s the “outed” celebrities who have made the most headlines, bringing sex addiction to the mainstream. In 2008, David Duchovny announced that he attended a sex rehab clinic. Life was imitating art; his character on the aptly-named Californication, Hank Moody, was also a sex addict.

In 2010, Tiger Woods entered into a sex rehab program in Mississippi. Russell Brand, a noted alcoholic and drug addict, wrote in a 2007 autobiography (My Booky Wook) that he went to a Philadelphia sex rehab after the addiction threatened to ruin his career. Brand regularly had sex with five different partners a day during the peak of his addiction.

Gerald Ford revealed in an embargoed interview in 2004 that he urged Bill Clinton to seek help for sex addiction during the impeachment scandal of 1998. His wife, Betty, who founded a pioneering drug and alcohol treatment center after her own battle with addiction, agreed. Kanye West, Michael Douglas, Billy Bob Thornton, and Tom Sizemore have also admitted to being sex addicts in recent years.

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No stranger to Hollywood, sex addiction often appears on the big and small screens.

Critics are abuzz about Shame, an upcoming drama about regular people dealing with sex addiction. Directed by Steve McQueen, Shame tells the story of Brandon, a successful businessman played by Michael Fassbender, who is simultaneously sated and beleaguered by his compulsion to have sex with strangers in public. When his suicidal sister, played by Carey Mulligan, pleads to live with him, it throws his carefully cultivated public life out of whack. The movie is rumored to feature Fassbender fully nude and having lots of sex, but the UK trailer mostly reveals Brandon’s psyche and the pain of addiction. Rather than overly sensationalizing sex addiction, the movie appears to give a realistic portrayal of the problem. See the trailer for yourself:  

In Thanks for Sharing, Gwyneth Paltrow joins Mark Ruffalo and Tim Robbins in a film about sex addicts working to break the habit through a 12-step recovery program. The movie is based on a screenplay by Stuart Blumberg, who scored an Oscar nomination for The Kids are All Right. Paltrow will play a businesswoman who falls for Ruffalo’s character. The film is currently in production.

Numerous television shows have depicted sex addiction. Decades ago, Sam Malone got the diagnosis on Cheers, although it was clear then that a real definition was lacking. Julian McMahon played a sex-addicted doctor on FX’s Nip/Tuck; he even met the mother of this child at a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting. Reality television also depicts the plight of sex addicts. In 2009, Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew debuted on VH1. The programs Intervention, Addicted, and Taboo feature sex addicts occasionally.

It’s obvious that sex addiction is becoming a popular subject in entertainment. Although many of these films and television programs are profiting off of the shock-factor of sex addiction, they are making the commonly misunderstood illness slightly less taboo.

Famous recovering sex addicts make a huge difference in bringing attention to the illness, and help make it more socially acceptable for others to seek help. These celebrities serve as role-models, and show that there is a way to deal with sexual addiction.

Overall, the media’s portrayal of sex addiction pales in comparison to its take on drug and alcohol addiction. It will take many years for sex addiction to become a commonly accepted mental disorder. Fortunately, both news and entertainment can bring understanding to the problem until then.